Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
