Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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