This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
