why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
