Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
