this boner is exhausting
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
