I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Semen is not good for contacts.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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