Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
