is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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