1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
