i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
