Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
