So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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