mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
