ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
