I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
