When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
