so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
