How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
