im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize