Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
