its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
