kristin has been a bad kristin
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
