its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
