You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
