I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
