Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
