I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
