Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
