Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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