Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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