I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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