he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
