I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
