you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
