Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
