idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
