My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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