You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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