wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
