Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
