if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
