his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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