Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
