Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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