one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
