so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i dont even know how to be here
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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