Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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