Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
