He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
