Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
